3 ways fondle will happen:
Chance After an Orgasm - adjust or disable in MCM - Rousing & Denial tab
Chance at High Rousing - adjust or disable in MCM - Rousing & Denial tab
Fondle Hotkey - hotkey is L-Alt by default. Can be changed in MCM
Some Points of Confusion We've Seen:
Since the Fondle Hotkey is L-Alt by default, you will press this if tabbing out of the game to windows, or maybe press it for other reasons. Maybe you want to change the HotKey (Toys&Love MCM - Hotkeys & Debug tab).
It's not fondle. It's something from another mod that is similar to fondle, like the cover animation that some mods do.
The Fondle Hotkey is also the Caress Hotkey for use during love scenes. You fondle to raise your rousing, you caress to raise your partner's rousing in love scenes. More on this... Hotkeys in Toys&Love